When Old Meets New

In one corner, you have the family you've known your whole life.  In the other corner, you have the family you have made for yourself at some point along the way.  Including the most recent and tiniest member. 

When these two groups of people came together, when three generations met for the very first time, it felt like I'd found the final puzzle pieces I always knew I was missing.  Still, there was an overwhelming sense of completion that I never expected to feel.  Layers of happiness and satisfaction revealed themselves in rapid succession.  Fortunately I was ready and prepared to feel emotions on a high level.  Just nowhere near THAT level.

I'll never, ever forget the moment the Jefferson Four stepped into that hospital room at Fairview Ridges Hospital and met my son for the first time.  These people who had meant more than anything to me for almost all of my days said hello to this boy who just one day earlier had assumed that role.  Grandpa and Pa, Unc and Auntie all took their turns holding the newest Jefferson.  Gazing at him in awe and wonder.  Inevitably experiencing at least passing moments of disbelief that their son/brother had managed to make this all happen.

But somewhere in there is this:  I don't care who you are, where you've been or what you do.  Creating a life tops it all.  Becoming a parent to another human being is the greatest thing there is.

And when you can do it alongside an constantly astounding wife with the never ending support of a loving family?

That's my own personal heaven.  And I believe...

So this is parenting...

I don't think adrenaline kicks in quite as often as people think it does.  But we certainly pulled the adrenaline card multiple times over the course of parenthood's first days.  It was like eating your meal in different parts, a few bites here and a few bites there over the course of a day and ultimately you've cleaned your plate.  But it's not the same as eating it all in one sitting.

I think the key word to describe the first few weeks of Reese's life \was gazing.  There was a lot of gazing going on.  Mostly in wonder that we had created this little (sort of) living human being out of thin air.  He was nothing but a hope and a wish.  And now he was actually there in front of us.  Alive.  Well.  Our child.

I know people say that you should catch up on sleep when your baby sleeps.  It's a good idea in theory.  The issue is that he is so absurdly peaceful and innocent that putting him down is a tall order.  Kelly and I suck at it. 

"We should probably lay him down"
"Yeah... I don't really want to though."


That conversation or something similar to it went down every day.  Most of the time we just tried catching a few winks while he was laying on us.  Sleep was sacrificed.  Gazing opportunities were increased.  I think we all won.

Introducing Reese to the world, mostly family and friends, was maybe the proudest moment of my life. When we went to Allianz to take him around, Kelly said my chest was puffed out like she's never seen it before.  I guess I had the proud papa syndrome going right away.  But I don't blame myself for getting caught up in the moment one bit.  Call it cheesy.  Call it corny.  Call it cliche'.  This IS the coolest thing ever.

And I understand it only gets better....

Spreading the News

After joyfully and tearfully sharing the news of Reese's arrival into the world with my mom, dad, brother and sister, I sent text message to four different sets of my closest people.  This is what I said:

"He's here!  9 lbs. 3 ounces and the cutest freaking thing ever. Life is beautiful"

"Our boy has arrived!! Reese Francis Jefferson.  Long day, giant head. Best thing ever.  Everyone is great.  Much love"

"Our boy is here.  Reese Francis Jefferson. Long day.  Could not possibly be any happier.  Everyone is great.  All the love"

"He is here! Reese Francis Jefferson.  So amazing! Everyone is fantastic!"


And this is what they said:

"Dece! Congrats guys.  You all rule.  Can't wait to meet the new fam!"

"Congratulations Adam. This is most excellent news and a joy you both deserve enormously.  Beautiful name, thanks for the update.  Love you guys"

"I love him already. Not gonna lie that picture choked me up quite a bit."

"Congrats, love you guys...I was passed out last night"

"OMG he is perfect!!!

"Congratulations! So happy for you guys! Love the name!"

"Oh!  So awesome! Love the name! So freaking happy for all three of you! Love!"

"Love it! So incredibly happy for you guys! Reese, great name! Lots of love to you guys! And it's about time! Another hug to Kelly please.  Can't wait to to hear the story of his arrival."

"Congrats! Give him a kiss for me! Hope Kelly is resting! Can't wait to meet him!"

"YAY!! Love the name!  Reese!  Congratulations! All go ok?  Send pics if you have the energy!!

"Awwww he is perfect!!"

"Yes! Amazing and congratulations! I wish you all health and happiness.  Jefferson clan continues its expansion!"


In my mind, through all the love and warmth that came shining through in those responses, I kept thinking the same thing:

Just wait until you meet him.

The day it all changed

I was standing alone in the bathroom of the hospital room.  They had just wheeled Kelly into the room for an emergency C-section.  I was trying mostly unsuccessfully to put on the too small scrubs I had been given.  The shoes were in tatters.  My emotional state was even worse.  The beautiful moment I was hoping for had been anything but.  I had just witnessed the woman I love in more anguish that I was prepared to take.  More discomfort than I will ever know.  More agony than I had ever seen anyone.

Was this really it?  Is this how it's supposed to be?  Is bringing a life into the world, your own child, meant to be this painful?  At that time, in that moment, I had an unprecedented amount of emotions coursing through me.  What was next?  How is this going to turn out?  Just please let everyone be ok....

Everything I felt then was real.   But sometimes it all becomes just a footnote...

20 minutes later the doctor had my son in her arms.  Two seconds pass.  He opens his mouth.  And begins to wail.  I don't think I've heard a more beautiful sound.

My hands went to my head.  This was it.  A moment way bigger than me.  We had brought life into the world.  Created a person.  He was out.  He was real.  He was ours.

Crying.  Laughing.  Sniffling.  Snorting.  Oohing.  Ahhing.  In all different orders.  The strain of the past 27 hours was swept away in an instant.  Hardest thing ever?  Maybe.  Worth it?  Oh sweet fancy moses...YES!

There would be family to call.  Friends to notify.  A long, strange, weird, beautiful story to tell.  But for now it was just three people locked in a moment.  Frozen in time.  Just beginning the opening chapter of a story that will keep stretching into a lifetime.  And feeling happiness that previously did not exist.

We have a son.

It's Time

Time to start documenting about what this kid has done. Swept in and taken over our lives in the best possible way.  Smiling, gazing, giggling, lounging, snoozing, sleeping, drooling, dreaming, wondering and adorableness levels record breaking.  A part of me wishes I'd become a dad a lot sooner.  But another part knows full well that the time was right when it all went down.  A family man officially. Still hard to believe.  But very easy to embrace.  Very easy to appreciate.  Very easy to be humbled and awed by the whole thing.

Reese Francis Jefferson.  That's my son.

He deserves to know all of it.  And he will...

This is happening

The calm before the storm.  It's a different kind of calm.  Anxious, ecstatic, expectant, amazed, overwhelmed, awestruck...ready.  Somehow they all apply here. 

I know I haven't been writing.  I guess I've been too caught up thinking, feeling, experiencing and enjoying.  Writing has just come in fifth behind those other things.  It won't always.  It just has now.

November feels like so long ago and last month simultaneously.  There were long stretches of, "holy crap this is taking forever" swiftly replaced by, "holy crap, it's go time."  The baby train is officially coming fast.  He's going to arrive before his name does.  And I like it.  Maybe we'll even ask him.  Two blinks if you like this one.  An arm swipe if you like that one.  Poop if you don't like any of them.

There were a number of solid names that didn't quite make the cut.

Wotan Jefferson - Can you name your first child after a German opera composer?  If your dad is an opera buff named Randy, he'll plant the seed and water it every chance he gets.

Younggren Jefferson -  the greatest name that almost was... in reverse.  Ultimately, too many double consonants.

Hammer Lightning Jefferson
or
Lightning Hammer Jefferson - The lines between fantasy and reality have officially become blurred.

Geronimo Jefferson - I couldn't stop saying it for a week after I heard it.  But I have a feeling he would have hated us when he started school.

Rigley Jefferson - Drop the W from the greatest sports venue in the world.  Rig for short.  I'm not sure the world would have been ready.

Circuit Jefferson - Only five people in the world would have appreciated it.  And two live in the Pacific time zone.

Oscar Jefferson - The one that came the closest.  A legitimate two week window where it looked like it might happen.  I still might call him Oskie anyway...

______ Jefferson - Getting to name my son is the coolest game I've ever played. 

This is gonna be pretty freaking fun, isn't it?

School's Out

It's been more than 10 years since I graduated from the U of M.  Which means I'd spent an entire decade avoiding the classroom setting.  It was a pretty good run for a time, but I'd had just about enough.  I've never really had a strong desire to go back to school.  I'm doing enough learning on the outside. 

Which brings me to Sunday.  And our 6-hour birthing class.  I can't really say what my emotions were going into it.  While I was looking forward to acquiring some of the vital knowledge that one needs to be a parent, I knew the classroom setting held the potential for sucking.  I was envisioning outdated videos, lame other couples and a know it all instructor preaching in absolutes.  Fortunately every nightmarish scenario played out only in my delusional head.  The videos were current (although occassionally awkward), the couples were all pretty chill (although one girl had all the insights into being the best parent ever) and the instructor was a cute, sweet woman who at one point asked everyone if any of us had ever sucked our wife's nipples 8 to 12 times a day.  Everyone stayed quiet.

The breastfeeding videos were really up close and personal.  I saw boobs from all angles, of all sizes, of varying degrees of manipulations.  For much of my life, the possibility of seeing boobs was the goal of that day, that month, that year.  But by the end of the class, I was boobed out.  It was certainly instructional.  It was definitely educational.   It was just boobs in a wrong kind of light.  The negativity was quite temporary though.  We're back in business now.  Boobs rule again.

There are some things I will not be immediately proficient at.  I won't be an expert diaper changer.  My calming and soothing skills are going to be pretty raw.  While I can be productive on very little sleep, I do not yet know what kind of ability I have to wake up continuously once I become asleep.  But surviving and thriving during the unknown is really what makes a good parent.  Or so I think right now.  And that I will be just fine at.

And it won't hurt to have the real life version of Tami Taylor by my side through everything.  Having a loving, caring, understanding wife is really my ace in the hole.

But having a loving, caring, understanding husband might just be hers too....